Moving on... dirty bit!

Love stories start with “once upon a time” like fairy tales do. But not all relationships end up happy ever after. Yes, there are those with happy endings. But there are also sad, even tragic endings. The thing is, all has its own end, whether we like it or not. 

There is no exact formula for long lasting relationship like there is no exact recipe for love. However, some things are essential for love to stay, grow and multiply. These are things that matter to individuals who are in a relationship. These are common issues during break-ups.

TRUST.  This is built over time. It can fall off in an instant. Openly communicate. You can only trust a person if you trust yourself. Do not find fault on the other person just to make the relationship challenging. Know each other's expectations. Set your limits. Promise to keep within the limits you two agreed.

RESPECT. Embrace your differences. Accept the other person for his/her flaws. If you dislike a certain trait, do not just tell the person to change, let the person understand why you want it changed. Help him/her to change. Be patient. Be extra sensitive to the needs of the other individual. Relationship is not a guessing game. You need to ask each other. You have to answer in all honesty. Do not sugarcoat.

TIME. Have time for each other but also have time for yourselves. How much time is enough depends on you. Never demand more than what your partner can give.  Do not make it an issue if you have more time than your partner. Instead, be thankful you have plenty of time for yourself and for other things. Schedule things. Make good of your available time together.  Make it a quality time.

COMPROMISE. Arguments are part of every relationship. Your point of view really matters. His or her opinion matters too. If they are parallel, you can’t just argue forever. Meet halfway. Settle it with what’s acceptable between the two of you. You both decide on things. Win-win!

We don’t live in the ideal world. We make mistakes. We have lapses. Reality is, no matter how we try to nurture and keep the relationship strong, certain things happen. Stronger forces occur. Death is inevitable. Relationships end. Break-up!

Life seems to stop when relationships end. Part of your soul is gone. Your world slowly becomes empty. You are shattered. You’re helpless. You blame things. You blame yourself. You cry. 

Before accepting the fact that you’re no longing together, you pass through that stage. And you can stay stuck if you cannot manage it. Name it depression. Call it insanity. At your choice, you can also get out of it. 

Cry all you can. The tendency is after break-up, you are too preoccupied with what has happened that you cannot think well. You’re  weak, too emotional. You need an outlet to burst out all the feelings. You have to empty your heart. It’s best when you have your closest friend with you that will just listen. This will not end the pain or whatever feeling you have. But this will open your mind (and yes, heart). 

Get busy. Go out with friends. Moments of loneliness can lead you to travel the memory lane. Not bad until you cry again because you’re now on the breakup part.  Avoid this by going out and meeting other people. Fill in the missing part of your world. It doesn’t mean you have to jump into a new relationship. Just try to be happy. Do what you cannot do when you were still in a relationship. Break free!

Cut all communication lines. When we’re not thoroughly over our feelings, we tend to find ways to reconnect. Oftentimes, this leads to another episode of heartache. Change SIM. Unfriend/Block him/her in Facebook. Unfollow your ex on twitter. It can’t be over if you still talk and stalk . You can be friends later when you can thank him/her for letting you go, when you can laugh at everything you’ve been through. If you meet by accident, just be casual. Say hi and go.

Avoid things that remind you of him/her. Our system has no auto-delete. If you can’t avoid things that reminds you of your ex, make new memories. It’s not easy but you can actually do it! 

Do not force yourself to love again. When you will be ready, only you can decide. 

 

Do not be afraid to love again. You should be wiser and stronger the next time around.

It’s necessary to move on… it aint easy… it’s dirty bit! =)